Little Miracle
by SlightlyCrazyAuthor
Summary: Ludwig and Felicia aren't supposed to be able to have kids. But by some miracle, Felicia finds herself pregnant and they prepare to welcome a child into their lives. Rated M for major character death.
1. Discovery

Felica was sitting at the table, staring at her food. Not eating it, just staring. It made him worried. She never hesitated to eat pasta unless he'd messed up the recipe somehow. But she'd made the manicotti herself, so it couldn't be that. She must be sick.

"Felicia? Are you alright?" He looked between her and the full plate of pasta.

"I don't feel too good, Luddy. Do I still have to go running?" she asked. Now that he thought about it, she did look sick. Maybe she'd eaten something bad yesterday. What had they had last night again? That's right, their friend, Kiku, had taken them out for sushi-shit, maybe she got something from that.

"I think you might be sick. So no, you won't run this morning." He put a hand on her forehead. "You don't have a fever, but if you're not feeling good, you should rest until you feel better." Felicia stood and skipped to their bedroom and he wrapped up her pasta, putting it in the fridge for lunch. He sat at the desk and started filling out paperwork. He'd gone a half hour without hearing a peep from his wife. While not alarmingly rare, she did usually check in every twenty minutes to see if he could play some game or cook or help with the cat. Perhaps he should go check on her.

At the moment he decided to get up, he heard a door upstairs being flung open and slammed shut. "Felicia? Are you alright?" He got no answer, and so proceeded with his initial plan of checking on the Italian woman.

She was in the bathroom, emptying last night's dinner and the few bites of breakfast she'd actually eaten into the toilet. "Ludwig, I think I'm sick." That much was clear. She hadn't eaten but a few hesitant bites of her favorite pasta, and now she was throwing up.

"I think so to. Let's get you cleaned up, then I'll call a doc-"

"No doctor!" She interrupted. "I don't want to go back to the hospital..." He didn't blame her for that. The hospital was full of bad memories for both of them. They'd both lost their grandfathers there. Ludwig had lost his brother, Gilbert. And last time they had gone, Felicia found out she couldn't have children.

"It's alright. I won't take you in if I can avoid it. But I still want to speak with someone who might know what I can do to help," he said soothingly. "Let's get you into clean clothes."

Three hours later, Ludwig was already three-quarters of the way through his paperwork when Felicia meandered back downstairs to the kitchen.

"Luuuddyyy~!" she said in her happy I-sound-like-I'm-about-to-break-out-in-song voice. "I'm feeling better and I'm going to eat!"

He stood and walked over. "Are you sure that's a good idea? You were throwing up a few hours ago."

She smiled. "I'll be just fine! I don't feel sick anymore, actually, I'm very hungry!" She bounced off to the kitchen. He sighed. At least she was feeling better.

Three weeks saw the same pattern every day. They'd wake up. She would feel too sick to eat breakfast. She'd throw up. A few hours later she'd be starving and eat more than she normally would. She'd eat even more at dinner. They'd go to bed. Rinse and repeat. He was worried. He finally called a doctor, who told him to bring her in. She wasn't happy.

"Ludwig! Please! I don't want to go!" she cried.

"I know you don't. But I want to make sure you're safe. So you're going." She quieted down and went to the car. It was about an hour drive, and it was spent in uneasy silence. He was too worried about why she was feeling so ill to try and make conversation, and she was dreading their arrival all too much to speak.

She sat in shock. He sat in shock. The doctor repeated herself since they hadn't reacted.

"She's pregnant. About six weeks along." The doctor had to be wrong.

"That's impossible," Felicia whispered. "I can't-can't have kids. We tried. Th-they said I was infertile."

The doctor had to explain how infertile and sterile were two separate terms. "Infertile just means it's unlikely. You still can-and if you choose to keep the baby, will-have children, though it is rare for infertile couples to get pregnant."

Felicia looked at her husband and hugged him tightly. "WE'RE HAVING A BABY, LUDDY!~" He just smiled.


	2. Warming up

Felicia was ecstatic on their ride home, contrary to the drive there. "Aren't you excited? Do you think it's a boy or girl? Oh, what if it's twins? Can I paint the nursery? Who should-"

"Felicia, slow down. Of course I'm excited, but I'm also worried. We won't know if it's a boy or girl for awhile. It won't be twins. No, you can't paint the nursery," he answered.

To her surprise, they didn't go straight home, but to the library. She supposed Luddy would want to pick up some books for them. He always wanted a book when something was happening. But she didn't think that was bad. He always took care of her, even if he didn't have a book telling her what to do.

They were home now. Luddy had books on taking care of a baby (and mother) before birth. He was going on about what foods she couldn't eat .

"No coffee?! But Luddy, I drink coffee almost every morning!" She loved her coffee, though not as much as pasta."...I can at least have pasta, right?"

He scanned the list. "Pasta is fine. But we'll need to get prenatal vitamins. And you'll need to keep a more balanced diet."

She smiled. "As long as I can have pasta, it's okay!" She calmed down a moment. "What's the baby look like? Like, right now. Does it have eyes?

Ludwig switched books. "Eyes, nose and ears are starting to form. It also has a heart that's already beating. It's arms and legs are starting to form as well. It's the size of a lentil-about a quarter-inch long."

"It has a heart already? That's...really amazing. It's smaller than my pinky nail, but it's already got a beating heart!" She hugged her still-flat middle. It's really amazing, isn't it?"

He gave one of his rare smiles. "Ja, it is."

Weeks went by. While she hadn't started to show, she was definitely rounder around the middle. Ludwig tried to help where he could, though he knew there wasn't much to be done at this stage besides making sure Felicia had taken her pills and vitamins. The morning sickness had started to disappear, although she still didn't feel well in the mornings. She was constantly tired. Sometimes Ludwig would come home from work to find her passed out on the kitchen table or at the computer desk looking up baby names. She was very happy. Once a week, Ludwig would read from one of his books about how the baby was developing and she loved it, even if she sometimes fell asleep.

"It's the size of a lime. It's brain is starting to develop connections. It can open and close its fingers, and curl its toes." He put the book down.

"When will I be able to feel it?" she asked.

"Not for awhile. But he can feel you."

"He? You think it'll be a boy?" She looked up, curious.

"No, but calling him 'it' seems too impersonal. He's our child, after all."

"That's true!~What do you want to name him? Or her?"

"I don't know. We don't even know if it's a him or her yet."

"Okay. Do you think we should tell the family yet?"

"You haven't told them?! Felicia!"

She looked down."...sorry Luddy...I-I wanted to wait until we really knew, a-and then I forgot."

She started to cry. He took her in his arms and kissed her head. "Don't cry. I'm not angry at you." She sniffled and dried her tears. "But you should at least call your brother."

"Okay!~" She got up and dialed a number on the phone. It rand a few times before anyone picked up. "Ciao, Antonio!~ Can I talk to mio fratello, please?-Grazie!-Ciao Lovino!~ You'll never guess what I found out a few weeks ago!~-Sorry, I forgot to tell you right away.-Luddy and I are having a baby!- Wait, why are you upset? We've wanted this for awhile, and we thought we couldn't. But, we did! So you should be happy! You and Antonio are going to be zios!-Okay! Ciao, fratello!~" She turned to her husband after hanging up. "He said he wants to visit. Is that okay?"

"...ja, I guess'"he said reluctantly.

"You guess? Is something wrong?" she asked.

"No, it's just...your brother doesn't like me very much. I'm not looking forward for being yelled at."

"Oh...well I'm sure it'll be fine! We have a week to prepare, it'll be lots of fun!"


	3. Running Along

Felicia smiled as she let her older brother into their house. "Ciao, fratello! Ciao, Antonio!~" She was just barely starting to show, and she was overjoyed. Then again, just about everything concerning the baby made her giddy with excitement. Like buying baby clothes. And setting up the nursery. And painting a mural for the baby-though that had taken a lot of convincing. She was still working on it, and hadn't let Ludwig in the nursery because she wanted to surprise him when it was finished.

"Hey, bastard, you're spacing out." Lovino was glaring at him. He never understood why his brother-in-law was so hostile toward him, but he had learned not to question it too much. Asking only seemed to make him angrier, if that was possible.

"Don't be mean, _poco tomate*_ ," Antonio whispered to his boyfriend. Antonio was nicer, and Ludwig just couldn't understand how such different personalities could work together. Then again, it was much the same between himself and Felicia.

The siblings settled down in the living room and began conversing in Italian. He figured it was just as well that he couldn't understand; based on the glares the brother was still sending him, he didn't want to know what they were discussing. Antonio just watched. Since he wasn't otherwise busy with paperwork, Ludwig decided to make lunch. Felicia would be hungry soon, and she always wanted pasta.

The visit was relatively incident-free. Felicia had bolted out of the room in the middle of lunch, but it turned out she was just going to the bathroom. That was quite common now, and it was really just Lovino who was worried.

At the end of another week, they were again on their way to the hospital, this time with Felicia bouncing in her seat. "We might know if it's a boy or girl! Oh, what if he's sucking his thumb? That would be too cute! And we're supposed to be able to hear his heartbeat, too!~"

He didn't look it, but he was excited too. He was going to see their child, even if the image was too fuzzy to tell what he looked like, or even if it was a he. They knew some parents liked to wait until birth to discover the gender, but Felicia was excited to find out. She wanted to find a name as soon as possible. They'd already come up with several boys' names, and had decided on a girl's name. They were ready to find out which they'd be using.

Another hour saw Felicia lying down with a cool gel smeared over the tiny bump. The image on the screen was hazy, but they could see their baby. It was tiny and beautiful.

"Ludwig? Are you alright?" Her face was full of concern. "You're crying."

He put a hand to his face. He was. He was crying. The last time she had seen him cry was at his brother's funeral. "I'm not sad, Felicia." He embraced her gently. "I've never been more happy in my life!"

She smiled and leaned into the hug, shifting the baby bump. The image on the screen filled with static for a moment, then the image cleared. the image was sharper now. They could see the shape clearly.

"It's a girl," the technician informed them.

"Hanna! Luddy, it's our little Hanna!~" Felicia's smile grew.

It had been a few weeks. He was reading about the baby again. "She's only five and a half inches long. She's developed a sense of hearing-she can hear your voice whenever you talk. Her skeleton's-Felicia? Is something wrong?"

She had sat up suddenly and her hands went straight to the protrusion in her abdomen. "Luddy..."

He was worried. "Are you alright? Does anything hurt? Do we need to-"

She tugged on his hand and placed it over her belly. He was confused for a moment, then there was a tiny flickering feeling beneath his fingers. "Luddy, she's moving!" He smiled and leaned down to kiss the bump. The flickering returned. "She likes you, Luddy! She likes you!~"


	4. Falling

Over the next few weeks, Felicia was often caught singing lullabies when she didn't think anyone was listening. Ludwig would read fairy tales and nursery rhymes with one hand on the baby bump every night. Felicia was showing more and more. They attended childbirth classes together. She was exhausted all the time, and Hanna liked to give a sharp round of kicks every time Felicia was about to fall asleep. The nausea had returned, and her ankles had swelled up, making staying in bed all day a very convincing option if she could avoid going to the bathroom. If Hanna wasn't kicking her awake, odds are she was woken up by her ever-full bladder.

"Luddy? How many more weeks are there?" She was having Braxton Hicks contractions right now, and while not painful, they weren't fun, either.

"Eight to ten. You're thirty weeks, remember?" He did his best to make her comfortable, bringing pillows and blankets and helping her up and down when she needed to go somewhere.

"Thirty weeks. Hanna's the size of a cabbage, right?" He nodded.

"And she can see light coming through the womb and she can hear you sing to her. But you need to sleep for now, okay?"

"Okay, Luddy. Ti amo." She closed her eyes and fell into a sleep that was unlikely to last the hour.

He kissed her forehead gently. "Ich liebe dich, Felicia."

Visits to the doctor were weekly now. She and Luddy had just about everything ready-mostly because he wanted to be prepared for premature labor, should it happen. They had a bag of supplies and baby clothes and bottles and diapers by the door. He had mapped out the fastest drive to the hospital. They'd gone over their birth plan with the doctors. Luddy really doted over her. Unless it was something she had to do herself, like going to the bathroom, or something she was adamant about, like him not seeing the mural in the nursery, he kept her in bed and did everything for her.

She was supposed to be painting now, but much to his surprise (and worry about her going down the stairs) she hugged him from behind as he cooked. "Luuuddyyy!~ I'm finally done painting! You can come see now!" She pulled on his arm. "Come on!"

"I'm coming, Felicia." He followed her, helping on the stairs. Once they were up, she asked him to close his eyes until they were in the nursery. He complied, and she lead him into the baby's room.

"Okay! Open them!" He did. She could see the wonder in his eyes, as he looked at the stars she'd painted across the ceiling, the coral reef on one wall, a jungle on the next, a field of butterflies around the wall with the door and closet, and the last wall-a couple, them sat beneath an oak tree, smiling and holding a baby. The couple was Felicia and Ludwig, of course.

"Felicia, it's beautiful. All of it. I'm sure Hanna will love it, too." She smiled.

It was the middle of the night, two weeks later. She looked and felt ready to pop. But right now, she needed to pee. Badly. "Luddy, I need help getting up."

He woke as quickly as he always did and helped her to her feet. "Be careful."

"'M just going to the bathroom," she said blearily. He sighed. She knew he was worried, but she didn't see any problems that could happen. She made her way down the hall-how far was the bathroom? She was too tired to remember and couldn't see well in the dark. She continued down the hall. Her foot met empty air, and she realized she'd gone to far. She started to turn around. Her foot slipped off the step and everything tumbled around her.


	5. End

Felicia wasn't the same. She would ghost silently around the house, never smiling anymore. Sometimes he'd find her in the empty nursery, holding a blanket or a toy close and just crying. She cried in her sleep, too. She cried out for the baby she never even got to hold. He would often cry too. But he tried to make her happier-not that it ever worked. Months had passed, and he hadn't heard her laugh or sing or seen her smile once. She had started seeing a therapist, and that had helped, but she still felt that a part of her heart had been ripped out, and she knew she couldn't ever get it back. Their baby was dead and gone.


End file.
